One Happy (Crime Free) Island

Everything I have read about Aruba talks about the country’s tagline, which is “One Happy Island.” I’m a little bothered by this statement and so I have made it my goal to disprove this claim one way or the other. According to the guide books there is supposedly very little that goes wrong here and every one is just jolly and happy living their crime free lives. But I disagree and here is my proof:

1) I accidentally ran over the foot of the grocery bagger with my grocery cart and he scowled at me even after I apologized and Jason made fun of me.

2) When jogging on the side walk no one (repeat no one) bothers to move over and make room for me.

3) When jogging in the street (because no one will make room for me on the sidewalk) cars do not slow down or scoot over.

4) The Dutch government puts really big holes on certain streets so that tourists know not to drive down those streets. The problem is that the tourists are already on the road and by the time they figure out there is a gigantic hole in the road it’s too late.

5) There are no street signs. This is because they want you to get lost, fight with your significant other over it, and then miss your dinner reservation.

6) We witnessed a crime in downtown Oranjestad…drug dealing.

7) The staff at the only coffee shop we’ve found never smile.

8 ) One of the most popular touristy restaurants called Charlie’s employs a homeless man to “watch” your car. Why would they do that if there wasn’t crime, huh?

9) The hotels won’t let you use their beach chairs. They won’t even let you pay for them.

10) The lizards never stop or slow down long enough for us to take their picture.

I’m not complaining. I don’t really care if they are happy or not, but I’m a little bothered by the claim that they are sooo happy. No one group of people are that happy.