The Scourge Of The Bathtub

August 5th, 2008. Today was pretty awesome. We got some work done, rented a car, bought groceries for the next 3 weeks, snorkeled, and ate in. Nice.

Renting the car was an experience. First of all, I wanted the cheapest one they had. That turned out to be a Suzuki Alto.

The joke – “It’s like a car, only smaller.”

Driving this thing is like driving a go cart. The first dirt road I found I did a donut – just for the thrill. The engine screams at about 50mph, and when you drive the whole car feels like it’s really working. It’s nice – the A/C works well, and it corners pretty nicely. It’s a lot like a new toy.

Grocery shopping isn’t usually fun, but it was interesting today. Lots of strange brands and labels, and lots of mysterious fish, poultry, and pork products. Ever seen the whole forearm of a pig wrapped in plastic wrap? Me neither until today.

After groceries, it was time to have fun. We bought some snorkeling gear and hit the water. We found a popular snorkeling spot (Malmok beach we think) and Sara and I took a bunch of pictures with an underwater disposable camera. Can’t wait to post them.

I’m still on Denver time, so I was up pretty late – about 1am EDT. As I’m getting ready for bed, I decide I want a cold glass of water. For some reason, the water that comes out of the kitchen sink isn’t cold. It isn’t hot either – it’s lukewarm. It doesn’t matter which faucet you turn – it’s lukewarm. The only place to get cold water is in the bathroom sink. As I’m leaving the bathroom, something in the tub catches my eye.

ROACHES! Two of them – and they’re pretty big.

I decide to kill them the old fashioned way (with a giant wad of toilet paper). I reach down to snag one and it takes off like a racehorse. “These #$%^ are fast!” I say to myself. I track them both down and kill them. The next question: Where did they come from? I scan the ceiling, the walls, inspect the bathroom window, and find nothing. Then, I notice a couple of antenna peaking out from underneath the bathtub’s shutoff valve.

After unsuccessfully trying to burn the roach(es) out of this fixture with a barbecue lighter, I decide the only thing to do is to go buy some bug spray. Knowing Sara as I do (who is asleep in the next room this whole time, by the way), I’m fairly confident finding a roach in the bathtub tomorrow will ruin her morning. The only way to be safe is to buy some industrial bug spray and kill them with extreme prejudice.

The local gas station is open at 1am and they sell me bug spray. I return, enter the bathroom, and find one more roach in the tub. Time to die. I blast it, and in the chaos of this chemical attack two more roaches scurry out of the drain – they’re everywhere! I kill these two, but I’m a little worried about tomorrow. That’s five dead roaches total, and where there’s five, there’s fifty. Because of the late hour (and my tired brain) I decide that leaving two dead roaches in plain sight will act as a warning to the rest.

So I leave a note on the bathroom door for Sara. It reads“Roaches! Bug spray on bathroom counter, two dead guys in tub. Gross.”